How to be a Contemplative
Prayer might very well be the most unique activity we can take part in. It is also one of the most natural things we can do. People of all ages, all races, in every corner of the world, are able to enter a state of prayer whenever they please. No one is able to take that ability away from us. No one but ourselves.
There are people who live their entire lives and never enter a genuine state of prayer. Even among those that practice a life of prayer, some never truly penetrate the deepness that prayer possesses.
Today’s technology offers so many distractions and modes of consumption that fool people into thinking there are better things to do than sit in silence and pray. And even among those people who try, they may not be aware of the deeper forms of prayer that go beyond vocal prayer. The saints of the Church all had this in common— they prayed in a radical way. The saints understood the purpose of prayer. They understood the intense intimacy experienced in prayer. Prayer is not confined to simply asking God for things that you want or need. Prayer is not confined to words. Words are not required for prayer.
This is where contemplative prayer begins— those places in our hearts where words cannot be expressed. Those places where words are not enough. If you imagine prayer as a vast ocean, vocal prayer would only go a few feet down from the surface. Vocal prayer is good and no one should ever reject or deny the value of vocal prayer, but one can only go so far if they only prayed vocally. To enter the prayer of no words, the prayer of silence, one must enter a state of recollection. Recollecting our senses is the passageway into the contemplative spirit. And the good news is, because of the nature of our souls, each and every one of us possess this contemplative spirit.
This transition of recollecting ourselves allows us to sink down into the deeper depths, where the water is cooler and the unknown awaits in the darkness. These dark depths are the roots of contemplative prayer— a state of prayer so sweet it can give pains to our souls. Contemplative prayer is where we truly experience the nature of God. It is where we come to understand the depths of divine intimacy.
To Be With
When I was a seminarian I went on a hospital visit with a priest during one of my summer parish assignments. It was for a well-known family of the parish, and it was the patriarch of their family who was on her deathbed. She was the mother of many children, and the grandmother to even more. When the priest and I walked into the hospital room it was nearly standing room only. The entire family was there, from the youngest to the oldest. Everyone’s attention was directed towards her, lying there in her bed, on the brink of death. Even when the priest and I walked into the room, only a few of the family members looked our way.
The priest gave her the last rites, anointed her with oil, and blessed her with the sign of the cross before she embarked on her eternal journey. During this time, when she was still with us, the room was silent. Everyone, even the young grandchildren, sat or stood in complete silence, savoring the final moment with their beloved mother or grandmother. It was beautiful. Words were not needed, nor could they be spoken, for the movements of everyone’s heart transcended beyond what words could express. There was a love within that cramped hospital room that was beyond what words could ever describe. The love in their hearts could only be expressed through presence.
Contemplative prayer is no different. In the words of St. Teresa of Avila,
“Mental prayer, in my opinion, is nothing else than an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us. The important thing is not to think much but to love much, and so, do that which best stirs you to love. Love is not great delight but desire to please God in everything.”
Contemplative prayer is centered around loving. It is existing with the constant remembrance that God loves us beyond measure, and that there is nothing we have to do to earn His love. To enter contemplative prayer, we must first put ourselves in God’s presence. We must remind ourselves that God, our Lord Jesus Christ, resides within our very selves. The presence of the Holy Spirit resides in our very hearts. True contemplatives strive to live every aspect of their life like this— with the constant remembrance that Christ is within them, that God is present to them at all hours.
Through the practice of contemplative prayer, or mental prayer as many refer to it as, God’s grace can be experienced through sweet consolation. Consolation describes the times of prayer when God’s presence is strong, when we can feel His love enter our hearts and there is very few distractions or dryness. The opposite of this, desolation, describes times of prayer that are filled with distractions and dryness and God feels far from us. Both consolation and desolation are filled with great grace, and both are necessary to advance in the spiritual life.
So, how do we begin contemplative prayer? How do we enter into that contemplative meditation? For this, we must go back to the prayer of recollection. In order to contemplate God we must recollect, or quiet, our senses.
Prayer of Recollection
First, place yourself in a quiet place. Sit, stand, or kneel in a comfortable position and then close your eyes. Inhale and exhale deeply until your body is fully relaxed. If you are experiencing distractions from your daily life, like things from work or your family, surrender them to God in that moment. After this, recall who it is you are trying to experience. Recall that God is in your midst and that His presence surrounds you and resides within you. This recalling, is not done through imagination or through some special formula done with our minds. It is done through our will. It is a movement of our will. It is a surrender to the will of Christ and exclaiming through our hearts that we are all God’s. We surrender our time to Him and exclaim that we wish to unite with His will.
To remain attentive to the presence of Jesus, it can be very helpful to call to mind a passage from Scripture. It could be your favorite passage or the Gospel of that week. Imagine the humanity of Christ. Imagine Jesus sitting beside you, His eyes piercing into yours, His arms wrapped around your shoulders.
Saying prayers like the Our Father or the Hail Mary very slowly are also great ways to enter into a recollected state. St. Therese of Liseux was known to constantly recite, “Draw me, Jesus,” during her mental prayer. The Eastern tradition of the Jesus prayer is also a great prayer to recite: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner.”
The technique, or form of vocal prayer, that you try does not carry much weight. “Do that which best stirs you to love,” as St. Theresa says. Do what is best for you. It is a matter of preference, not correctness. Some like imagining the passage from the Gospels, others like praying the rosary. It does not matter as long as you do what best helps recollect yourself.
Distractions are normal and even the greatest saints had to endure distractions. When we feel our minds begin to wander, simply bring yourself back. Through your will, pull back your senses and never cease to recall the presence of Christ. It does not matter how many times your mind wanders away, as long as you bring yourself back each time. Some days recollection will come to you easy and immediately, other days you will be filled with distraction and dryness. The most important thing is to never give up! In Her Life, St. Theresa of Avila said that the worst thing she ever did was give up prayer.
“To give up prayer was the greatest delusion of all that the devil could make me fall into. I thought that because I was so wretched I could not pray. And so the devil led me to the belief that I ought to stop, out of humility.” - St. Theresa of Avila, Chapter 7 of Her Life.
Start Small
For many of us, the biggest challenge to prayer is having the time. Many of us work over 40 hour weeks, tend to our children and families, care for our spouses and marriages. Not everyone can dedicate an hour to mental prayer like the monks and nuns. With this in mind, it is important to remember that prayer can take the form of many things. Our work can be prayer. Our recreation can be prayer. When we drive home from the office, or are exercising in the gym, these can be moments of prayer. This truth is how the contemplative lives their life— with prayer and the presence of God always on their mind and heart. This modern world can be a great enemy to contemplative prayer, and in order to pray as a contemplative we must make sacrifices, but it can be done! Through perseverance and surrendering to Christ, anyone can live as a contemplative. Just like anything else, start small. When you wake up in the morning, or before you go to bed, dedicate just ten minutes to mental prayer. This would be a perfect way to gradually gain the habit of contemplation.
We don’t become saints through big leaps. We become saints by loving in small steps. By doing what is in our ability and never giving up. To live as a contemplative is to live a life filled with love, and it is through this contemplative spirit that we grow to imitate and be with Christ always.
